The emtions after giving birth to surrobabies

The legal process………and the emotions.


Well after having the babies, and everyone was healthy, happy and finally together.  Where was I to go from here?  What was going to happen from this point?  They agency told me what I could expect.  Well they couldn't have prepared me for the emotional, stressful and very hard issues that came along with the legal process or the hormones that follow a surrogacy ending.

As I was leaving the hospital, it wasn't the usual getting the baby ready to go home.  It was what felt like endless amounts of paperwork and not knowing what to put on them or what to sign.  What if I did one thing wrong and messed up this whole process the my IPs had worked so hard for and waited even longer for?  Not to mention that my breasts hurt, my c-section was throbbing from the pain, and my husband was on military duty.  Wow what had I gotten myself into?  I left the hospital that day, crying.  Because I felt so lost.  This was not like me to feel this way.  Don't get me wrong, I was so excited for my IPs and their new additions.  But I felt like I wasn't needed anymore.  We all know that that is a not such a great feeling.  So where was I to go from here?  What was the next step to this process?

Well 2 days later, postpartum hit in.  WOW, I thought it was bad with my own children, I guess because of twins, the baby blues maybe a little more intense.  Well for me at least they were.  I then got a call from a lawyer saying I needed to come into their office and look over the paperwork that they were going to file the next day to the courts to relinquish my rights as birth mother to the tweeds.  I met my IPs there at the office and for the first time since I left the hospital, I got to see the girls.  It was such a wonderful to see that they were a family and how happy they were because of 9 months of work that I had gone through.  That was all it took for me to put my feelings and questions that I was feeling to the middle of outer space.  It was in other words my closure, being able to see the tweeds with their parents where they belonged.  I then happily signed the papers and 2 weeks later my name was no longer on their birth certificates. 

I got a call from my IPs to go have lunch with them the next day after signing the papers, and I got to see a more personal level of how they were handling these new babies.  It was so touching to see my intended mother hold and kiss the foreheads of one of the tweeds, then to watch my intended father watch his daughter as she slept.  I had a part in this happiness that they were feeling.  I was so content. :)

I was pumping milk for the tweeds as well and further contributed to their well being.  The breast milk was my gift to them.  I did it free of charge and willingly so that they would get the vitamins and precious nutrients that they would need.  I felt even better after that. :)  I went from Surro momma to milk maid. HAHA I hope that one day these girls will be able to come to me and we can sit down and show them the start of their journey.  Because oh my what a journey it has been.